Memories

I met Melissa our freshman year at UW. We were in a FIG (first year interest group) and also both had some interest in potentially rowing. We were fast friends and she was such a bright light of joy, calm, and genuine friendship in that time. One thing I hated about UW was that it was so big, so if you didn’t have classes together, paths didn’t cross as much. But whenever we ran into each other, we’d run and give each other huge hugs. It always made my day to run into her. Our paths took us both all over the world, but I cherish the time we were close. 

Melissa was bold, she was kind, she was loving, and she was FUN! We had so much fun. She was the first person I truly felt a connection with at UW, something I was so grateful for since I…

Well it’s such a garbage day Mel B, the day when the rawness of you leaving this world is the worst. I’ve been thinking of you so much and I want to talk to you so bad! I feel like you should be just a Snapchat away to let you in on the wild and weird happenings of my life and I just know you’d have the best “read” or commentary on what I’m going through. Boy drama, life drama, everything drama! I miss your hot takes and your insanely funny commentary. I wanna know if you ever watched detroiters, I wanna know if you ever watched I think you should leave, there are just so many outrageous videos and reels I see on my feed that I just wish I could send you to let you know I’m thinking of you. I celebrate you and think of you always…

Happy 28 earth birthdays plus 4 heaven birthdays. It’s hard to believe you would have been 32 today. We all miss you and love you so so much! We will always celebrate the joyous day you were born.

Always and forever,

Your loving parents

I woke up from a bittersweet dream this past Sunday morning. I had gotten to hug sweet beautiful grinning Melissa while I slept that Saturday night. It was one of those dreams that was SO real and so vivid that I woke up in a panic worried it would be gone the second I tried to grasp at its receding threads.

The intro to the dream wasn’t all that interesting…I was working a long day at the hospital. People I was working with were talking about someone outside protesting (this lines up with political protests that had happened that Saturday morning in Wausau…to somewhat clarify my brains context). No one really said much, just that someone was out there protesting.

I must’ve been between procedures so I walked to the main entrance of the hospital and walked out the doors. And there standing at the bottom of some steps was…

It doesn’t get any easier at the three-year mark of Melissa’s passing.  It’s interesting and says a lot about her that in the end she was concerned about how I (Mom) would be “after.”  So I try to live my life so that Melissa doesn’t worry about me. It is hard work living with only memories of her!

A way of thinking that helps me came from one of our favorite people we knew for a short time - Social Worker John at the University of Michigan Hospital.  When he visited Melissa daily in the hospital, he talked with her about what he called “her story” she had written and what she hoped to write.  I loved how he talked with her, truly interested in her life story; he made her feel worthwhile, important, valued.  And I loved my new thinking about her life as “her story.”  He had such…

I can't believe it's been three years since I said goodbye to Melissa on April 9, 2022. Despite her physical health, she had her same infectious laugh and wonderful sense of humor that I knew and loved. Melissa was the sort of person who could make me cry with laughter after being together for a few minutes, even if we hadn't seen each other in months. That day was no exception! She was always able to find the humor in everything, even at the saddest of times, which says so much about her character.

I recently travelled to Iceland and Amsterdam and thought about Melissa a lot- its easy to get bogged down with work and busy schedules but Melissa's love of travel and being with loved ones always reminds me to make time to do the things we love. Thank you, Melissa, for giving me this gift of perspective.

We honored Melissa’s birthday today - 28 + 3 “after” - by traveling to San Diego. She had really wanted to go to S.D. but was never able to so we did it for her! We spent Valentine’s Day with her friend, Summit, who she met in South Korea where they taught at the same school and became fast friends. It felt like we were with her too! Thank you, Summit! We love and miss our girl so much! 💔